[Regarding the Cucumber/Zucchini Vagina Simulator]: Rather then boil the cuke, run it under hot water after you've carved it out with a fruit baller or circular potato peeler. The internal depth can be adjusted by inserting the end of a screwdriver handle or broom-handle-shaped object. Be sure to poke at least two small holes (with a turkey tie or straight nail) right at the end of the cuke, and make sure the nail did, in fact, pierce the internal tunnel.
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Do you worry that your orgasms might decrease in intensity as you get older?
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